Thursday, April 17, 2014

Three things I wish someone told me



These three thoughts have been bouncing around in my head for a long time. Simply they are my life experiences I've encountered along the way; lessons full of hardship, wisdom, and hope. So if you've yet to tread the ground of these life-altering nuggets then this post is truly for you. Your welcome.

The first thing I wish someone warned me about was how hard marriage is, was and will most likely continue. Marriage is not for the faint hearted or the lazy I might add. Oh how hollywood has misled us but of course they can't possibly capture the daily ins and outs of marriage in a 2 hour film. It's really not like you meet, insert romantic montage, get married, the end. That's such a centimeter of the whole picture. Its more like you meet, fall in love, get married, then get surprised at how different you are from each other. However herein lies the hidden beauty. All that head-butting sharpens each other, at least it can if your willing to let it. The secret to marriage is selflessness, surrender, and forgiveness. I do none of those perfect but in 10 years have absolutely improved. The feelings of love will wax and wane, but love is a verb; a choice. Choose it everyday.
{"He must increase, but I must decrease" John 3:30}

Second on my little list is the vast depth and width of difficulties parenting can present. There are a couple doozies in this category for me. No one informed me that babies actually don't sleep. (our sleep story here)That whole adage, "sleeping like a baby" needs to be removed from the American culture. It never occurred to me I would have to teach my babies to sleep so they wouldn't wake every 45 minutes to eat, thank you first child. The other piece to the child puzzle has been navigating discipline. I'm not good at it. In fact, I feel good at most things I do except for parenting! Once again this is the perfect set up for complete and utter dependence on God. If I didn't feel so inept at parenting I would be on my merry way and nary a prayer would be uttered. So everyday I"m all, "Help me Jesus" in varying tones of desperation and pray they thrive.
{"Don't you see children are God's best gift, the fruit of the womb His generous legacy." Ps 127:3}

Last but not least is loss. This is where the frog enters my throat. Losing my Dad six years ago was a blow like no other. Grief is something I've come to know well. As in I wore it. I didn't fight it because I desired healing in my inner most parts and the only way is through those trenches. As Americans we run from pain because well, its painful. But even though my heart isn't exactly the same it has healed and in a healthy way. Shortly after I lost him many of my dearest friends fell into the same loss and I was able to minister to them. But my advice is grieve, let the tears roll and take as long as you need. Grief is a season and it will come to an end and when it does hope will return and healing can begin. I promise.
{"The Lord is close to the broken hearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit." Ps 34:18}

Ok, I feel much better. I hope and pray this is helpful to someone on their journey!

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